My Conversion Story
I grew up in Pembroke Pines, Florida with my parents and older brother. I knew who God was and I went to church somewhat consistently. My family bounced between “baptist” and “non-denominational” depending on the week. The first thing that sticks out to me when looking back on my childhood is my constant struggle for peace. I can remember being as young as seven years old and battling with where my soul would go when I die. At an early age, I had a deep understanding of the gravity of sin and I knew it would take something bigger than “well I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior when I was five” to mend what I had broken. I carried this pain in my back pocket for years. Little did I know, it was this deep unrest that God would use to ignite a desire in me and lead me to the Truth.
I had so many questions and no answers. I did what I could and went through the motions, hoping one day God would magically reveal them to me. My sophomore year of high school, I started attending a youth group because they were giving out free waffles. I tried to get involved, thinking I might feel something, but I was always left unsettled. Deep down I knew it was inauthentic… it wasn’t the real deal. I craved something more.
I began to ask questions. I recognized how many protestant denominations there were… all claiming to be the one, true church. But how did I know which one was right? I would look at something as small and seemingly insignificant as a leaf and how much detail God put into its creation. From its cells to its stem, it was perfect. Why would God put so much attention into the design of a leaf and then leave something as important as His Church up to interpretation?
I did everything I could: I prayed and I turned to the people I thought would have the answers. I brought my questions and concerns to my parents, my “pastor”, my youth group leaders and other adults I trusted. *SURPRISE* Everyone’s answer differed based on their own personal opinion and interpretation. I spent so many years crying out to God for Truth and for peace, but I never heard Him answer.
I decided to go to college in Jacksonville, Florida. It was as far as I could get from home without leaving the state. I was bitter and felt abandoned by God. I figured if He wouldn’t answer me, I would simply live my life how I saw fit. I began to dress immodestly, with the intent of drawing attention wherever I went. I surrounded myself with a questionable crowd and while I didn’t go off the deep end and drown my sorrows in drugs and alcohol, there were plenty of nights I struggle to remember. I just felt empty.
It was in this dark place where God met me. My world was flipped upside down when I fell in love. He was a Catholic who had ventured away from the Church, but out of a need to be right argued in Her defense. He was the only person that had ever challenged me and for the first time, I had to defend my beliefs as a protestant. I spent hours trying to find something to hold onto, that would prove I was right. When I truly investigated protestantism, I realized there was nothing worth fighting for. He was the first person to explain to me how deep Catholicism runs and that the Church can be traced back to Christ Himself who established it. In an effort to prove that Catholicism was wrong, I realized that it IS the ONE, TRUE FAITH!
Despite this discovery, I didn’t convert immediately. I knew what becoming a Catholic would cost me. I could no longer lean on the excuse “once saved always saved” to ease my conscience and live my life claiming ignorance as my crutch. I drug my feet for a year. In 2018 after a trip to the Vatican, reading “Rome Sweet Home” and many prayers later, I converted.
Looking back, I can see exactly how God was working in my life. Every person He placed in my path, every question He put on my heart and every prayer I thought went unanswered… has led me to this. I am grateful that God didn’t answer me right away. During that time of silence and darkness, God was growing my hunger for the truth and preparing my heart to hear it. Becoming a Catholic was one of the most challenging things I have faced in my life. I knew exactly what it would cost me, but this is a Cross I was and will always be willing to take on joyfully.
My story didn’t end there and this was only one of many Crosses God would ask me to bear. The person that brought me to the Faith and that I planned on one day marrying has since joined the Seminary. This was the first time I had truly been knocked off my feet and it forced me to find my Faith for myself. While each Cross has brought immense pain, it has shown me joy and has made me stronger. Today, I am a Catholic, I value modesty and advocate for the Rosary. Because of these truths, I have finally found the peace that I spent my whole life searching for.
Below is the letter I sent my parents when I decided to convert:
Dear Mom and Dad,
I’ve recently made a life-changing decision to live my faith as a Catholic and I wanted to explain to you why. First, I want you guys to know that I love you very much and I owe everything I am today, to you. You have shaped me into the person I am and without you as parents and God, I don’t think I would have been able to do this. I have decided to begin taking the necessary steps to become Catholic, but I didn’t feel completely free or ready to do so until I shared this with you. I need you both to know that this decision is in no way because of Patrick. While I know God put him in my life for a reason and to help me along this journey, my decision to become Catholic is completely my own and simply because I know it is right. Since I can remember, I have struggled to understand God, how to be a Christian and whether being Protestant allowed me to live the fullness of the faith. I had so many questions and no matter how many people, pastors, or peers I asked, their answers differed based on “their” opinions and I always left feeling more confused than before. After years of never getting any answers and getting lost in the confusion, I began to live for myself. I began dressing the way I wanted and doing things based on how I felt in the moment. As I’m sure you both have noticed, I am very different today and that is because I stopped living for myself once I learned the truth. I believed all of the stereotypes about Catholics and even judged them. I remember I used to correct Catholics if they called themselves Christians because I, in no way, wanted to be associated or connected to them. Therefore, I didn’t come to Catholicism because it was what I wanted, but because God has guided me here and I know that it is the true Church. Not only has God sent me signs pointing me in this direction, but through my effort to prove that it wasn’t true… I learned that without a shadow of a doubt IT IS! I want to address each of the stereotypes that I’m sure come to mind when you think of Catholicism and then show you all of the proof I found from the Bible that shows the Catholic Church is the true Church.
STEREOTYPES:
Catholics Worship Mary:
The Catholic Church doesn’t worship Mary, they honor her and ask her to pray for them (just like we ask others to pray for us when we need help). God commands us to honor thy mother and thy father. The Hebrew word for honor, kabod means ‘to glorify’. Jesus glorified his heavenly father and his earthly mother too. We are called to imitate Christ. Not only by honoring our mothers and fathers, but honoring those that he honors - and with the same honor he bestows. That is why Catholics honor and respect Mary so highly… because Jesus Christ did!
John 19:26-27 : “When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own.”
In this verse, Jesus himself is telling us that Mary is our heavenly mother and we, her children.
2. Catholics Worship Saints:
This is a stereotype that I firmly believed. I used the argument that saints were a form of idolatry and I couldn’t have been more wrong.
The word “Saint” originates from the Latin word, “Sanctus” meaning “holy” or “set apart”.
The New Testament uses the word “saint” or “saints” 67 times (ex. Acts 26:10 (also uses the word priest); Romans 1:7; 1 Corinthians 1:2).
Romans 1:7 - “To all those in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.”
Saints are individuals who lived a selfless life and served the Lord. They are human, therefore subject to sin, but have lived exemplary lives of faith or were converted to faith at some point in their lives. They are people through whom God’s power has performed miracles and they have been given messages. In simple terms, they’re the M.V.P.’s or role models of Christianity and they aren’t “worshiped”, they are holy and people ask them to pray for them (most saints are known to be good at a specific thing/virtue).
3. Catholics must obey the Pope:
The Pope is the leader of Catholic Church, but he is not an absolute authority. Like anyone, the Pope is subject to sin. He can express his opinions and give advice to Catholics but those things aren’t considered official Church teachings. The only time that the Pope is infallible (teaching free from error/ inspired by God) is when he speaks “ex cathedra” or “free from the chair”. This is rare and there have only been two ex cathedra teachings given throughout the 2000-plus history of the Catholic Church.
The Church’s authority is also fully realized in the Bishops(An authority given by Christ specifically to the Apostle’s and then passed on via ordination), to bind and loose things that will be honored in heaven. In other words, Christ left behind these 12 men(the apostles) and gave them the explicit authority to bind and loose things on earth, but he specifically gave Peter(the first pope) the keys to be his vicar(representative) until he comes again(2nd coming).
PROOF:
History ; There are so many denominations, so how do we know which is the right one?:
I remember I used to doubt whether our church was the right one and everyone I asked, even you, told me to simply have faith that I was in the right place. That never sat well with me and I had this indescribable urge to figure it out… I just didn’t know where to start. If I was going to be a part of a church, I didn’t just want to be following it blindly with faith but instead, through reason.
Do you know who founded your church (the protestant church)? Martin Luther initiated the Protestant Reformation in 1517 with his “Ninety-Five Thesis”. He was originally a Catholic priest but split from the Church, because there were things he didn’t like, which were complained about in his Ninety-Five Thesis. He founded Lutheranism. More specifically, the Baptist church was founded by John Smyth in 1609. Since the Reformation, over twenty-five thousand different Protestant denominations have come into existence. There are still ones being formed today. Every single one of them claims to be following the Holy Spirit and the plain meaning of Scripture. There has to be something more...
When Martin Luther realized that some of the things in the books in the bible supported Catholicism, he removed 7.
Do you know who founded the Catholic Church? Jesus Christ did.
Matthew 16:18 - “And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you release on earth shall be released in heaven.”
The word Peter in Greek means “rock”
The first Pope is St. Peter in the year 32-67 A.D. Jesus Christ died in the year 33 A.D. The Catholic Church can be traced back to Jesus Christ himself! And since Peter, there have been 265 other popes.
Every other denomination of Christianity can be traced back to Catholicism. I don’t know about you, but I would rather be a part of the church that Jesus Christ founded rather than some random man in the 1500’s. In other words, I would rather be the tree instead of the branch.
The proof for this comes from Jesus’ mouth in the Bible.
Here’s a great analogy I found that helps put it all into perspective:
“When our nation’s founders gave us the Constitution, they didn’t leave it at that. Can you imagine what we’d have today if all they had given us was a document, as good as it is, along with a charge like ‘May the spirit of Washington guide each and every citizen’? We’d have anarchy- which is basically what we Protestants do have when it comes to church unity. Instead, our founding fathers gave us something besides the Constitution; they gave us a government- made up of a President, Congress and a Supreme Court- all of which are needed to administer and interpret the Constitution. And if that’s just enough to govern a country like ours, what would it take to govern a worldwide Church? That’s why I think that Christ didn’t leave us with just a book and his Spirit. In fact, he never mentions a thing about writing to his apostles anywhere in the Gospels; besides, fewer than half of them even wrote books that were included in the New Testament. What Christ did say to Peter was Matthew 16:18-19. So it makes more sense that Jesus left us with his Church- made up of a Pope, bishops and councils- all of which are needed to administer and interpret Scripture. ”
2. The Eucharist :
In church, we would bring out the “juice and crackers” a couple times a year and celebrate communion (which to our understanding was “representative” of Christ’s flesh and blood).
One of the most fundamental teachings of the Catholic Church is that of the Eucharist.
John 6: 50-51 - “This is the bread that comes down from heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.”
John 6:52-58 - “The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread the fathers ate, and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.””
John 6: 60-66 - “When many of his disciples heard it, they said, “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?” But Jesus, knowing in himself that his disciples were grumbling about this said to them, “Do you take offense at this? Then what if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. But there are some of you who do not believe.” And he said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted to him by the Father.”
After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.
Jesus Christ was not speaking figuratively when he told his disciples to eat his flesh and drink his blood. The Jews in his audience wouldn’t have been so outraged and scandalized by a mere symbol. Besides, if they had misunderstood Jesus to be speaking literally when he meant it figuratively, he could have easily clarified his point. In fact, since many disciples stopped following Jesus because of this teaching, he would have been morally obligated to explain the saying in purely symbolic terms. Nor did any Christian, for over 1500 years, deny the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist.
When the audience questioned him, Christ used the Greek word, trogo, which is a crude word meaning “to gnaw” and according to Saint Augustine, he grabbed his flesh when he said this.
If the Eucharist is anywhere near as important as Jesus described in the bible then we’re missing out on something amazing.
Whenever I go to mass, I know that I am in the presence of Christ which means more to me than a band with good music and a pastor that preaches just how I like.
3. Faith Alone and Scripture Alone:
The split between Protestants and Catholics at the time of the Reformation was based on two major tenets: We are justified by faith alone, and our authority is Scripture alone.
Faith alone:
Martin Luther let his theological convictions contradict the very Scripture that he supposedly chose to obey rather than the Catholic Church. He declared that a person is not justified by faith working in love, but rather he is justified by faith alone. He even went so far as to add the word “alone” after the word “justified” in his German translation of Romans 3:28 and called Saint James “an epistle of straw” because James 2:24 specifically states,”... for we are not justified by faith alone”.
James 2:14-24 - “What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe- and shudder! Do you want to be shown, you foolish person, that faith apart from works is useless? Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered up his son Isaac on the altar? You see that faith was active along with his works, and faith was completed by his works; and the Scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”- and he was called a friend of God. You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone.”
Both Protestants and Catholics would agree that salvation was by grace alone.
Scripture alone:
Where does the Bible teach this?
2 Timothy 3:16-17 - “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
It says ‘all scripture’ not ‘only scripture’ is profitable. Prayer, evangelizing and many other things are also profitable.
2 Thessalonians 2:15 - “So then, brothers and sisters, stand firm and hold fast to the traditions we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.”
1 Timothy 3:15 explains that the Church is the pillar of truth - “... the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of truth.”
4. Covenant and the Catholic Church:
There have been a series of covenants that God has established with his people.
His covenant with Adam was a marriage; the covenant with Noah was a household; the covenant with Abraham was a tribe; the covenant with Moses made the twelve tribes into a national family; the covenant with David established Israel as a national kingdom family; while Christ made the New Covenant to be God’s worldwide or “Catholic” family to include all nations, both Jews and Gentiles.
The covenant family is the overarching principle or master idea of the Catholic Faith. It explains Mary as our mother, the Pope as our father, the Saints as our brothers and sisters, the feast days as anniversaries and birthdays.
The covenant is central to all of Scripture, just as the greatest Protestants like John Calvin and Jonathan Edwards have taught; a covenant is not a contract, as they understood it, but rather a sacred family bond between God and his people.
Through God’s grace and guidance, I now have a clear understanding of the truth. At the end of my life, I am going to have to stand before our God and I will be held accountable for the decisions I made on this earth and what I did with the knowledge I was blessed with. Though this is the most challenging obstacle I have had to face in my life thus far, I know that it is the truth and while it is way out of my comfort zone, I am eager to do it for God. I’m sure that no one is going to be thrilled by this news, instead it is going to make you all uncomfortable, but the truth shouldn’t bring you discomfort. I love you both and I want to share with you the most incredible thing I have ever found… Catholicism. After learning the truth, I can no longer live for myself, but for God. And that all starts with this letter. If there is anything I’ve said that either of you disagree with, I encourage you to prove it wrong. That is what I tried to do and it only led me here.
P.S. Mom, I know you’ve been struggling to find a church that you like, because you want a church that is consistent, teaches the truth of the Bible and focuses on God instead of shallow things like a good, current band. I think God instilled this desire in you to find something more, just like he did with me. You asked me the last time I was home where I would go to church if I was still there. I would go to the Catholic Church.
Love, Maddie